“I cannot live my Christianity in a comparative state. Everyone on the outside of my skin will have their own ideas, ideologies and individual perspectives & interpretations of everything I may think, feel or believe.It is not my goal or my calling to be in constant combat with ‘other’; rather I seek to live in constant alignment with God’s custom designed plan for my own life. I let Him select my battles. I let Him equip me for those moments. It may confuse you. It may even confuse me. But if I’m doing God’s will, those options are both okay with me.”
“The minute we take our eyes off Jesus as the ONLY reason our Christian walk makes sense, and isn’t a bunch of wasted efforts, is the minute we take hits to vulnerable places in our spirit. My Christianity only makes sense today, tomorrow, 15 minutes from now and Christmas 2016 BECAUSE of Christ. It never has anything to do with me, or my ability to ‘live right’ or ‘be good’. Every single moment I cling to Grace through the Cross is a moment I can boldly lay claim to my Christianity. Every other moment is vanity. Neither my failings nor my successes make me anymore a Christian than the moment I chose Christ. If only there was an app to remind me about THAT…”
Dark Girls
Racism. Colour-ism. When self-loathing takes root in the heart of a people, how do we ever truly become set free?
At Least I Have Each Other…
I am a study in contradtictions.
Looking at me in my wild and frequently uncombed curls, and with my penchant for flowing flowery dresses and flats, you’d be quite reasonable to assume that I am She of the Flower Power Fraternity. Sorority even. You’d expect me to play a lute (guitars are so ‘of the Man, you know?) and sing warbling ditties composed on the spot in honor of the sun, and of gardens everywhere and of the blessing of a woman’s womb. And you’d only be half of a raging idiot for assuming thus. Because I do love me some flowers, and I do sing. I enjoy spontaneous serenades of all sorts. Motherhood is my absolute favourite thing about myself and love is the best thing ever.
However.
Rest assured that I will also nail all flawed arguments to the wall, have zero tolerance for poor grammar, and do not get me started on the wars I have started because of the rampant inefficiency I face daily. I have lists for my lists of lists. I have never met a label I didn’t love- nay, NEED. I plan parties months in advance and I had my wedding organized and ready for execution in less than 2 weeks.
Yeah. I’m that girl AND I’m that other girl too.
And that’s okay. We don’t need to be just any one side of ourselves.
I have long subdued sides of my self to better fit the mold of Art Girl or of Business Girl. But all along, I was just me. Sometimes artsy and sometime hard-assed. It’s been the biggest relief ever to me to find that it’s ok to be all the me’s that live in this skin. God has a purpose for every last one of us (and I’m just talking about myselves here…but you too, no doubt) and it’s time I see what that plan looks like.
I promised myself 2012 would be about being my best self, and about shaking off all those voices that say “listen, anyone who just saw you beat down the donut lady over ill-proportioned sprinkle techniques will LAUGH to hear you say you’re a Christian.” And while yes, they may laugh (and tremble)….it’s not about them. It’s not even about me, whichever fantastic mess I am that day. It’s about showcasing how God can use me. Even me. All of me. All of me’s. Flowers, Flip Flops, Flow charts and all.
Untitled (Dat, Dat, Dat, Dah) (2007) by Richard Artschwager.
Public Service Announcement (aka “I violently decline your FB Petitions”)
Dear People Of the World:
Celebrities are people too. Just people. Humans who have talent that paired with opportunity to launch them across the airwaves. Humans. And yes, some of their adorers may take appreciation all the way to extreme, creepy and/or dangerous, but not all admirers are ridiculous. And it has always bothered me, the way we seem to think of them as public property, flying into outrage at things they do to protect themselves from our prying, digging deep no matter how far they run. It’s so wrong. These are PEOPLE, people. NOT property! But I digress and now I repeat: Not all admirers are bad.
Some of us are just people who have invested time and emotion in following their careers, the talent they have to offer, the possibility of dreams they represent, the escape hatch they brought us in dark times…there are a million reasons we love the ones we love. This does not make any of us idiots for mourning their loss.
I’d like to think my life touches more people than I really know of; that when I die, people will remember things that even I have forgotten; that my mark stretched beyond the boundaries of my immediate social circles. Don’t we all want to matter more than we could even imagine?
So permit mourning fans the freedom to cry or bemoan the loss of our famous ‘friends’, and the dignity to grieve for a fellow human life cut short. And for the love of pizza and pie, do NOT send me any pics, posters or group petitions lambasting people for “crying over one when millions die”. Refrain from doing so PARTICULARLY if you’re not doing anything whatsoever for said millions. Short of my private tears (and public blogs) actually smacking resources out of your hands that would have otherwise been used to go forth and save the armies of Wounded, Hungry and Otherwise Forlorn & Destitute, I’d really rather you leave me entirely alone.
No, I do not want to join your group. And although I’d love to see you change the name to something more appropriate, say…. The Sofa Sanctimonious League, it still would not change how I feel about your preposterous juxtapositions between one grief and another, with no participation from you in either.
So thank you, dear Facebook and your frightening propensity for spawning these Like-hungry groups, but no. I decline. I will not sign your petition or join your group. I will not sign today, I will not sign tomorrow. I will not give you likes. You can’t have them to borrow. I will not like you, not one bit and if I tell the truth- I’ve been thinking quite a lot of deleting all of you.
So if you don’t mind…hand me a tissue or get out of my way.
PS: If you’re so inclined there are so many, many organizations who desperately need your help. I strongly encourage you to do something more than a LOLCat image mashup to really HELP someone. Anyone. Google ‘help the poor’ and run wild among the options.
All About the Lurrrrve ♥
Ah, Valentine’s Day, thou shining day of Lurve! How must it feel, knowing that not everybody loves thee.
As someone who attended an all-girls school, a university with a much larger female cohort than male, then taught at a girl’s school and currently work in an office with more ladies than men, boy have I heard the female perspectives on this day. Wide and wild goes the gamut. I also work in advertising, so the whole commercial gimmick side is certainly not one foreign to me. Matter of fact, I have definitely been a part of campaigns designed to pull you into pity purchases, don’t-leave-me purchases, please-marry-me purchases and “I’m all alone, so come here you big
A Love Letter. And A Prayer.
It is a mom’s right to defend her child against things she deems dangerous, this much I absolutely support. But are we really doing the very best by our children when we fill them with fear or hate of anything we personally do not agree with? Please read that carefully: fear. Hate. As Christians, we absolutely cannot
Thirtylicious Playlist- Day 30
Song: Somebody That I Used to Know
Artiste: Gotye ft Kimbra
Why I Like It: Relationships are hard work. You almost don’t know you got it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ til the end (of time/your life/the world/the relationship). And no matter how hard or horrible it may have been or become towards the end, the wounded parts still look back at the parts that were once beautiful, and miss them. And the relieved parts look back at the torment and resolve to never end up there again. In my time as Official Listening Ear for many friends, the thing I’ve seen is that it is impossible to walk away from a Great Love with all parts intact and NO feelings on it. Resolution takes time. Each party has a different opinion of why things fell apart and who shared ‘greater’ blame. Each wants to feel they really did their best. And maybe in each individual way, they did. Can anyone outside ever really judge?
Dedicated to the wounded lovelies out there. Please know that with time, the heart does pick up the pieces it needs to be functional again. Just breathe. And wait. And I, in the meantime, will pray.
